I will remember you always.

Normally,at this point in time,I will be dying of heartache and drowning in tears.
But apparently I am not.
Maybe I didn't really fall in love?
I am not sure anymore,it doesn't matter now.

My heart ached a little when your message came, the first time you showed me that you need me.It aches not because I had to leave, it aches because I know it's codependency and not love, not like how I feel towards you.From your last message, I know this is the end of our friendship,because you gave up after I take a step back.
This is gonna hurt, but I am all cushioned.I protected myself subconsciously.

Let time ease everything.I have my dreams,you have your plans for the future.
unhealthy relationships spoil all plans and smash dreams.
Ironic isn't it?
we require the company of each other but things just don't work out.
I am sure I can get you out of my mind, albeit unwillingly,
because firstly,I can't give without expecting returns,you are just unable to reciprocate my love.
Secondly,I don't see a point of staking my future with something so abstract and uncertain,something that seems to exist and not exist at the same time.
Thirdly,I know that you won't, and never will, love me back.If there's even hope,I'll hang on there.But no, I am not positive.I won't be, and have no responsibility to be there for you always.To have dinner with you even if I've already eaten,to buy you herbal tea when you are down with fever,to jeopardize my study plans and rush back home from school just to see you for 30mins.
Lastly,I want to sin no more,we will be condemned and persecuted by Him soon if this continues.

Let's cool down.
You will be fine.
I will be okay.
Things will go back to normal as I 100percent devote myself to studying for A lvls.


you were a great friend, soul mate.But not suitable as a lover.
Thanks for cheering me up when I was down and discouraged.
Thanks for being there to help in my studies.
Thanks for all the wonderful memories you left.
Thanks for teaching me a lot of things and changing how I view life.
Thanks for motivating me all the time.
Thanks for making me laugh all the time we went out together.
Thanks for your reminders that life is fragile, live and give while you can, be grateful that you're alive now.
Last but not least, Thanks for showing me the way to get closer to Father Lord.

You will be the standard.
In the future, every guy i meet will inevitably be compared to you,and will likely be inferior.
I see a bleak future in terms of relationships.


I will remember you always.