It feels good to be doted on,
to be taken care of,
to be precious once again.
but at times i wonder, will I (AN ORDINARY GIRL) take things for granted?
will I look out for weaknesses despite the obvious strengths?
will I give tons of reasons and excuses just to avoid that responsibility?
will I stay the way I am?
will I change?
will I feel tired from what used to seem so right?
will I lose the ability to set priorities?
I understand myself the best.
I will not risk my studies,my future.
I've not recovered.
I don't wanna disappoint mom.
This is selfish but there isn't other alternative.
This might sound bad but , if one day you finally realized I am not worth the wait,you are free to go.I might regret saying this , doing it , because i missed someone i knew might just be the one.
what is mine, will be mine.
what is not, never will.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
UPDATE
headache.
headache.
headache.
headache.
headache.
i hate taking Panadols all the time.
headache.
headache.
headache.
headache.
i hate taking Panadols all the time.
collecting passport tomorrow!
and shop for xmas exchange presents for BJBA
and maybe going Singapore flyer.
wonder if someone will turn jelly?
and shop for xmas exchange presents for BJBA
and maybe going Singapore flyer.
wonder if someone will turn jelly?
you live in my heart,my childhood,my memory, in me.
Ever since pa left , I realized how tiring his life was.
work 12hours a day
$480 allowance for us each month
my dad was a helpful man
he's not afraid of hassle as long as it's within his ability he will help whoever that needs him
he's poor , not because he don't earn it's because he don't manage his finance
my dad is obstinate
he doesn't listen to us till all the things went wrong
but he doted on us , especially me.
why can i do sports fairly well?
because dad trained me since young
i can cycle at 5,
swim at 7,
hike and play taiji at 8
fish at 10,
because dad taught me how.
we neglected him.
he neglected us, in one way or another.
when someone leaves you,
suddenly all the memories sink in
the way he talks
repeat and repeat
what he said which we thought was ridiculous
his eyes
his hair
his feet
his palms
Pa's room is left untouched
except the clothing which he should have received by now
he should come back tonight , or tomorrow.
i wanted to sprinkle flour on the floor in his room
but mom said I'll be disappointed if there's nothing.
maybe dad went to heaven already
or maybe dad forgot his keys again
my memory of pa in my childhood is strong,vivid,unforgettable.
i was so close to him,
i used to.
i used to think pa is a hero that will save me whenever i am in danger or when there's fear
when i was a kid, i was afraid of spirits and ghosts.
i'll cover pa's blanket over me and i'll tell myself ,
with pa's blanket, no one can harm me.
it's that sense of security he gave.
i used to pout when people say i look really like my dad
cos' obviously ma got stronger features.
but now, when aunt said " now, if we miss dad , we will look at you."
i actually felt good and proud.
i resemble someone kindhearted,
someone who gave me life,
someone who inherited me my height which i am proud of,
someone who taught me things i don't learn in school,
someone who made my childhood fun and so memorable,
someone who earn money by working 12hours a day to give me food
someone who massages my leg when i complained about standing too long at work
someone whom i called papa.
下辈子 做个好命人。
work 12hours a day
$480 allowance for us each month
my dad was a helpful man
he's not afraid of hassle as long as it's within his ability he will help whoever that needs him
he's poor , not because he don't earn it's because he don't manage his finance
my dad is obstinate
he doesn't listen to us till all the things went wrong
but he doted on us , especially me.
why can i do sports fairly well?
because dad trained me since young
i can cycle at 5,
swim at 7,
hike and play taiji at 8
fish at 10,
because dad taught me how.
we neglected him.
he neglected us, in one way or another.
when someone leaves you,
suddenly all the memories sink in
the way he talks
repeat and repeat
what he said which we thought was ridiculous
his eyes
his hair
his feet
his palms
Pa's room is left untouched
except the clothing which he should have received by now
he should come back tonight , or tomorrow.
i wanted to sprinkle flour on the floor in his room
but mom said I'll be disappointed if there's nothing.
maybe dad went to heaven already
or maybe dad forgot his keys again
my memory of pa in my childhood is strong,vivid,unforgettable.
i was so close to him,
i used to.
i used to think pa is a hero that will save me whenever i am in danger or when there's fear
when i was a kid, i was afraid of spirits and ghosts.
i'll cover pa's blanket over me and i'll tell myself ,
with pa's blanket, no one can harm me.
it's that sense of security he gave.
i used to pout when people say i look really like my dad
cos' obviously ma got stronger features.
but now, when aunt said " now, if we miss dad , we will look at you."
i actually felt good and proud.
i resemble someone kindhearted,
someone who gave me life,
someone who inherited me my height which i am proud of,
someone who taught me things i don't learn in school,
someone who made my childhood fun and so memorable,
someone who earn money by working 12hours a day to give me food
someone who massages my leg when i complained about standing too long at work
someone whom i called papa.
下辈子 做个好命人。
Friday, December 25, 2009
100 things you must know about Adelyn Lim.
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Plain warm water
2. Last phone call: the police(i am not kidding)
3. Last text message: weilee
4. Last song you listened to: yu ren de guo du-sunyanzi
5. Last time you cried: just now
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: yes
7. Been cheated on:yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: nope.
9. Lost someone special: yes.
10. Been depressed: yes
11. Been drunk and threw up:haha shhhhh don't tell anyone
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. brown
13. gold
14. baby pink
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: yes
17. Laughed until you cried: nope
18. Met someone who changed you: yes, by breaking my heart.
19. Found out who your true friends were: this is definitely a YES!
20. Found out someone was talking about you: YUP
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Yes
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: -.- who the fuck will go and count?
23. How many kids do you want to have: 3 or 4 ? Singapore govt loves me.
24. Do you have any pets: yes!! Hamster and my cute COCO <3
25. Do you want to change your name: Thought of it , but nvm it's too late.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: study and preparing for exams.
27. What time did you wake up today: 6am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: giving pa big big house and money
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: go out to work , let ma enjoy life .
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 3hours ago ?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: be more hardworking as a student,a daughter,a sister,a friend.
32. What are you listening to right now: kiss the rain
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah with dick and harry.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing ?
35. Most visited webpage : facebook
36. Whats your real name: Lim Hui Shan
37. Nicknames: shanshan , ade
38. Relationship Status: Single
39. Zodiac sign: libra
40. Male or female?: female body , man's heart.
41. Elementary?: Siling Primary
42. Middle School?: Ahmad ibrahim sec
43. High school/college?: AJC
44. Hair colour: ash brown
45. Long or short: okay i am sick , i am thinking of smth else. whatever it is , long :)
46. Height: 175cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: I don't believe in crush.
48: What do you like about yourself?: i think far ahead.
50. Tattoos: Noo , i wanna get married . and bride with tattoos just look SO WRONG
51. Righty or lefty: Rightly
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: i'll tell u next time when i get one
53. First piercing: 2months old
54. First best friend: Poh Jia Wen from slps
55. First sport you joined: netball
56. First vacation: Genting with mum ?
58. First pair of trainers: none
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: air
60. Drinking: air (fuck because i got bloated stomach again)
61. I'm about to: hang the clothes and go to bed
62. Listening to: River flows in you
63. Waiting on: for question no.100
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: YEAH!! 2boys 1 girl :)
65. Get Married?: Yeap. women over age of 30 will PMS if still unmarried.
66. Career?: professionals ? i want my own theme cafe.
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: i like good kisser , who doesn't? :D
69. Shorter or taller: I am proud of my height
70. Older or Younger: older. if not how mom retire?
71. Romantic or spontaneous: former
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: arms , cos i think my stomach is nice already *proud*
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: nope
77. Drank hard liquor: yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: u reminded me i lost my one-week old spects at khatib stadium
79. Sex on first date: no wtf?
80. Broken someone's heart: yeap.
82. Been arrested: for being too mugger?
83. Turned someone down: yea
84. Cried when someone died: madly.
85. Fallen for a friend?: yea .
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Yes.
87. Miracles: Yes
88. Love at first sight: no
89. Heaven: yea
90. Santa Claus: any fat man with red robes,white gloves and a bag of presents over his shoulder is Santa.
91. Kiss on the first date: yes
92. Angels: no . i am cheena .
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope
95. Did you sing today?: yes , in shower.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: nope
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: all the way back , to where pa is with me i'll treat him better.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? : i only look forward.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: yes. because who you gave your heart to might just betray you. when you found out what u used to believe in is all a coax,lies,fake acts , it fucking hurts.
100. Posting this as 100 truths? no , it's 100 things you must know about Adelyn Lim.
1. Last beverage: Plain warm water
2. Last phone call: the police(i am not kidding)
3. Last text message: weilee
4. Last song you listened to: yu ren de guo du-sunyanzi
5. Last time you cried: just now
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: yes
7. Been cheated on:yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: nope.
9. Lost someone special: yes.
10. Been depressed: yes
11. Been drunk and threw up:haha shhhhh don't tell anyone
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. brown
13. gold
14. baby pink
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: yes
17. Laughed until you cried: nope
18. Met someone who changed you: yes, by breaking my heart.
19. Found out who your true friends were: this is definitely a YES!
20. Found out someone was talking about you: YUP
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Yes
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: -.- who the fuck will go and count?
23. How many kids do you want to have: 3 or 4 ? Singapore govt loves me.
24. Do you have any pets: yes!! Hamster and my cute COCO <3
25. Do you want to change your name: Thought of it , but nvm it's too late.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: study and preparing for exams.
27. What time did you wake up today: 6am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: giving pa big big house and money
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: go out to work , let ma enjoy life .
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 3hours ago ?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: be more hardworking as a student,a daughter,a sister,a friend.
32. What are you listening to right now: kiss the rain
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah with dick and harry.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing ?
35. Most visited webpage : facebook
36. Whats your real name: Lim Hui Shan
37. Nicknames: shanshan , ade
38. Relationship Status: Single
39. Zodiac sign: libra
40. Male or female?: female body , man's heart.
41. Elementary?: Siling Primary
42. Middle School?: Ahmad ibrahim sec
43. High school/college?: AJC
44. Hair colour: ash brown
45. Long or short: okay i am sick , i am thinking of smth else. whatever it is , long :)
46. Height: 175cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: I don't believe in crush.
48: What do you like about yourself?: i think far ahead.
50. Tattoos: Noo , i wanna get married . and bride with tattoos just look SO WRONG
51. Righty or lefty: Rightly
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: i'll tell u next time when i get one
53. First piercing: 2months old
54. First best friend: Poh Jia Wen from slps
55. First sport you joined: netball
56. First vacation: Genting with mum ?
58. First pair of trainers: none
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: air
60. Drinking: air (fuck because i got bloated stomach again)
61. I'm about to: hang the clothes and go to bed
62. Listening to: River flows in you
63. Waiting on: for question no.100
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: YEAH!! 2boys 1 girl :)
65. Get Married?: Yeap. women over age of 30 will PMS if still unmarried.
66. Career?: professionals ? i want my own theme cafe.
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: i like good kisser , who doesn't? :D
69. Shorter or taller: I am proud of my height
70. Older or Younger: older. if not how mom retire?
71. Romantic or spontaneous: former
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: arms , cos i think my stomach is nice already *proud*
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: nope
77. Drank hard liquor: yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: u reminded me i lost my one-week old spects at khatib stadium
79. Sex on first date: no wtf?
80. Broken someone's heart: yeap.
82. Been arrested: for being too mugger?
83. Turned someone down: yea
84. Cried when someone died: madly.
85. Fallen for a friend?: yea .
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Yes.
87. Miracles: Yes
88. Love at first sight: no
89. Heaven: yea
90. Santa Claus: any fat man with red robes,white gloves and a bag of presents over his shoulder is Santa.
91. Kiss on the first date: yes
92. Angels: no . i am cheena .
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope
95. Did you sing today?: yes , in shower.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: nope
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: all the way back , to where pa is with me i'll treat him better.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? : i only look forward.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: yes. because who you gave your heart to might just betray you. when you found out what u used to believe in is all a coax,lies,fake acts , it fucking hurts.
100. Posting this as 100 truths? no , it's 100 things you must know about Adelyn Lim.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Life's good with them :)
My holidays are packed.
There isn't enough time to do what i want/do what i have to..
so..as usual , i plan my scarce holidays just like how i planned for revision schedule months before a major exam. hais i can't imagine when school reopens i'm a J2 and taking A levels (the thought of it scares me)
Went K student with zhiheng , Kenny and Yanchng my lesfren!
it's fun cos' zhiheng is there, he's like .. a born joker!
And Jennifer, you rmb i told you he actually sound like yoga? okay the singing is not that perfect obviously but he DOES sound like him. LOL! Apparently , blogger does not allow me to upload the voice clip so i'll play it next time for you.
(All the photos are in facebook! -->took pictures of ZH's hilarious poses!)
Today went Cineleisure to watch Case39 with the Interact Sweeties :D
didn't take alot of pics cos' yixian forget to bring camera (not seng-mok enough)
but they are very sweet! they brought along my birthday present!
like.. BIRTHDAY PRESENT !! haha it's better to be 2 months late than never :)
they bought me a penguin umbrella which is pink in colour(they saw me squeezing with xiying under one umbrella during rainy days) and a duckie which they say ..resembles me , head sticking out during lecture. (Supeng said " i always see u during lecture one , too outstanding already , no one sticks out her head during lecture except you .")
AHEM ! that's because i'm trying to see more clearly to grasp the idea okay ?! lol
The following will mainly be the duckie and myself . haha was very happily zi lian -ing.
How i love fake lashes!!!
There isn't enough time to do what i want/do what i have to..
so..as usual , i plan my scarce holidays just like how i planned for revision schedule months before a major exam. hais i can't imagine when school reopens i'm a J2 and taking A levels (the thought of it scares me)
Went K student with zhiheng , Kenny and Yanchng my lesfren!
it's fun cos' zhiheng is there, he's like .. a born joker!
And Jennifer, you rmb i told you he actually sound like yoga? okay the singing is not that perfect obviously but he DOES sound like him. LOL! Apparently , blogger does not allow me to upload the voice clip so i'll play it next time for you.
(All the photos are in facebook! -->took pictures of ZH's hilarious poses!)
Today went Cineleisure to watch Case39 with the Interact Sweeties :D
didn't take alot of pics cos' yixian forget to bring camera (not seng-mok enough)
but they are very sweet! they brought along my birthday present!
like.. BIRTHDAY PRESENT !! haha it's better to be 2 months late than never :)
they bought me a penguin umbrella which is pink in colour(they saw me squeezing with xiying under one umbrella during rainy days) and a duckie which they say ..resembles me , head sticking out during lecture. (Supeng said " i always see u during lecture one , too outstanding already , no one sticks out her head during lecture except you .")
AHEM ! that's because i'm trying to see more clearly to grasp the idea okay ?! lol
The following will mainly be the duckie and myself . haha was very happily zi lian -ing.
Shufen and me! (we are the only ones who love camwhoring)
Meet MR duckie!!
okay, I try to position it to look somewhat like what they said-->me during lecture, head sticking out.
okay, I try to position it to look somewhat like what they said-->me during lecture, head sticking out.
How i love fake lashes!!!
Cheena doll with Duckie
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